Your My Everything

Wow. I Cant Believe That I Have Found You.

Dear Anthony,

Hey You, whats up. LOL. So I was writing this letter to you in my blog because I want everyone else to see why I fell in love you with. I haven't even told my friends, and I know that may bother you sometimes, but honestly my friends are mainly drama. I remember the first time I laid eyes on you, you were trying so hard to stand straight that I couldn't help but laugh. I remembered the way you looked at me when ever you seen me laughing at you, and you couldn't help but giggle yourself. Then you made your way over to me. Its funny because I have never seen you so drunk since the time that I have known you. I dont even know if you remember the first thing that you said to me, you asked me if I was black. HAHA! At first I thought you were being serious, and then I realized that you were just messing with me because I noticed that grin on your face. ( Just writing this I am putting a smile on my face), and since then you have always put a smile on my face. You were there for me when I need you the most, and when ever I was all left alone, I knew that I could call on you to come pick me up. You were so protective of me even when we were not dating. I remember the night of Luiss' party Oscar was my boyfriend at the time, and you were his best friend, but that didnt stop my eyes from wondering towards you. I know you caught me doing it, because you would always mess with me about it. Showing me your nipple when u had a muscle shirt on, ( in a non gross way), and always flashing your stomach towards me. You always tempted me, but we both didnt agree on cheating. At her party I remember that Oscar was so drunk that in the parking lot, you wouldn't let me go home with him. You made me ride with you, and that sir I did not object to. At first, it was kinda awkward but then I let loose. We talked the whole night untill about 6 in the morning. I was so tempted to kiss those lips, that I had to bite mine.

The day that it became offiicial that me and Oscar were broken up, you made that move. We went to the movies on the opposite side of town just so that no one would see us. HAHA! You said we were on a "Mission" haha. OK well enough stories. haha.

I just wanted to let you know that I really do appreciate you in my life. I am so thankful for the person that you have helped me become. 9- 16-09!!! is the date that I will always remember.

XOXO

Kirbi

Well, I usually don’t consider Miley Cyrus a real singer, but after listening to this song, I now see her in a different manner. I respect her, because of this song. When I was listening to this song, it made me realize that I let go of a good thing. I used to be with a person that made me nothing but happy, and because of my selfish ways I decided to let that person go. I feel incomplete now, and I no longer feel happy. I’ve had these thoughts about how I would be right now if I was still with him, and I believe that I would be a much happier person. I never allowed myself to love the way that I used to, and I wish that I did. I miss the way that he held me, complimented me, as well as made my happy when I was crying. I never told anyone about him because I was afraid of what people would say about him because he wasn’t exactly everyones definition of a good person. He didn’t finish high school,was constantly getting in trouble with the law, crashed his car, didn’t have a job, still lived with his mother, but somehow I accepted that for a while because he made me happy, and that was all that mattered. But, when i finally began to tell people about him, they would give me shit for him. I usually never go with what people says, but this time it was different. They would sit in class, and bad mouth him, and only a few of them actually had the please of actually meeting him. They would tell me that I would need to let him go because he was going to only bring me down in life, and for some reason ,i actually believed him. We dated for about 4 months before I finally realized that it was time to let him go. He wasn’t doing anything positive for me, and it was so hard to actually see him.

I listened to my friends, and look where it has gotten me now. I miss him. I never really thought that I would the way that I do, but I do really miss him. He is like a dream to me because I only get to speak to him on the phone now, or via text message.

I guess what I am trying to say with all this non-sense is that always listen to your heart. Don’t let your friends or family get in the way of what you love the most. When ever I close my eyes now, I see him. When ever I listen to rap, I hear him. LOL. One of the funniest memories that I have of him is that he would always show me his raps. He actually made a CD, and it was my job to make the cover for him, which I never completed. He was always that “wannabe thug” in my eyes, and he would always wonder how I seen right thru him. It made me laugh, when he would try to act all hard towards me, because I could see thru him better then a window. It always bugged him though.

Just a few days ago, we began talking a lot more, but we haven’t seen each other for about 5 months, maybe longer. He asked me out again, but I had to decline the offer. I just wasn’t ready for a relationship with someone so far away. Since I moved to college, I knew that it would be even more difficult. Well, like I said you should always listen to your heart, and what makes you happy.

OK, well until next time.

To Each is their own. :)

We all live our life wondering, "If I would have done something different, then how would my life be now", and I am one of those people. Well, I used to be. I used to live my life knowing that my life would have been better, if I would have made a better decision on something, and I used to sit around the house crying because I know that if I had made those better choices my life would have been so much easier. Growing up with my mom in an abusive relationship, which resulted in me being in a foster home, my life was nothing but difficult. It consisted of moving from families to families, and never being able to form the relationships with friends, lovers, or parents that most other teenagers had. I was not your average teenager, I was far from it, and I always knew that. When I ended up in that foster home, I knew that I could have prevented this. One decision that I made, has now effected my whole entire life. I am no longer the person that I used to be. It took me a few years to finally realize though, that I am thankful for the person that I have now become. I am independent, smart, charming, and an all around good guy. My past mistakes have led me down the road to success, and for that I am thankful. I used to wish that I could change some of the things that I have done, or been done to me, but I have finally come to terms that it is not something that I would like to change.I am proud of the person that I have become. Changes are not something that happens everyday, and you don't have that rewind option, but the things that people need to look forward too are the fact that they are going to become a better person in the end. I usually don't bring god into these kinda posts, but I am now a firm believer that I am in the situation that I am in for a reason.

When I was given the chance to turn my life around and change the way that it has become, I would honestly refuse the chance. I love the people that I have met along the way, and I learned many life lessons. I no longer allow people to push me around, and I finally have a own voice. I am free from my own prison, and I can now capture my dreams. I don't have to let my own past weight me down, I can always turn over a leaf, and begin a new chapter.

Don't let your own past, prevent you from having the future that you desire. Yes, it is an obstacle, but those can always be fixed. Don't regret anything that you have done, and always think of the past as something you can learn from. Don't beat yourself up from all the things you "wish" you have never done, instead just learn from them.

People who wear their heart on their sleeve express their emotions freely and openly, for all to see

Are you that person? Do you wear your heart on your sleeve, or are you one of those people that are constantly hiding feelings? Well I personally think that I am one of those people that wear their " Heart on their sleeve" and I don't see anything wrong with that. Now, you may be wondering why I chose to use that as the title for my blog, and I would be more then happy to explain it. Love for me, has been one of the hardest things in my life, whether its loving someone, or letting them love me, its just always been one of the difficult things in my life. I have let my heart hang from my chest before, and it has been grabbed by the wrong people. I am the type of person that will let you know how I feel, and I am not afraid to get hurt. Yes getting hurt, or rejected can be painful, but it is one of those parts of life that happen. You cant stop pain from occurring, but you can easily help prevent it. Wearing your heart on your sleeve has been a popular saying since it was said from "William Shakespeare", and since then it has become one of the most popular sayings of all time. Now, I am not a fan of old english literature, but this immediately caught my eye, and since then it has basically been my motto. I have since lived my life "With My Heart On My Sleeve", and so far it has been working. I have met the occasional bad guys or girls, and I have met some of the most amazing. Its just chances that have been taken. I'm not sure if I am making sense, but to me it does. Breakups, makeups, rejection, and acceptance are just some of the few things that come with love, but the only way that it will happen is if you allow it. Its not something that you should be afraid of, its just somethings that you need to accept, Its the way of life. With rejection, soon will come acceptance. I often show my love, and my feelings freely, and I have never been afraid of what people will think of it. Frankly, I dont even to much care. What happens, happens. When I was 15 years old I met this guy, and yes I thought he was everything, but it turns out I was completely wrong. I opened up to him, in more ways then one, but of course he was looking for something else. I allowed myself to be used physically, and mentally by him, and that was something that I usually didnt do. What made it weird for this relationship was that, this time I didnt "Wear My Heart On My Sleeve", and because of that I was used for all the wrong reasons. I usually always showed exactly how I felt, but this time I didn't. That was the biggest mistake that I ever have done, and I continued to do it for the next three years. I was with this guy for three years, but when I was sixteen things changed. I broke my knee from playing baseball, and out of all the people that I thought would have been there for me, he wasn't. Instead, he was the only one to make fun of me because I couldn't walk for about a year, and at that time I began to gain weight. That made him very angry. He began to hit me every now and then, and sooner or later it began to be a daily thing. He would push me to the floor with my crutches, and just laugh. I delt with this for a year and a half, and by the time I was 17 I decided that it was enough. I had to let him go, and I am so glad that I did. Of course, he was mad, sad, and was constantly apologizing, but this time I couldn't accept his apology. It was time for me to put my heart back on my sleeve, and try again. And that is what I did...

So after all this rambling comes a beautiful message, Dont allow yourself to keep your feelings all bottled up inside of you, allow them to be shared, expressed, and allow that other person to see what you see, feel what you feel, and alwyas remember to "Wear Your Heart On Your Sleeve"